The Things We do for Money

So far this semester I have done an ass load of reading, 3 papers, lost countless hours of sleep and missed even more precious hours of time with my family and friends.  I am one more semester away from graduating and receiving a second “fancy” piece of paper that I can put in my filing cabinet. Image I have done a lot of weird things for my college classes since coming back to school.  I’ve fired minature cannons for a physics class that didn’t even count towards my needed credits, I’ve baked “fake weed” brownies for my political science class, I’ve had to follow people on twitter and create this blog for an English class but now I’m being tortured by my criminology professor.  She is making me watch Tower Heist.


 You know that shit movie made in 2011 with Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy?  Yea … that piece of shit.  According to my professor this movie is funny and contains a few criminal theories that have been discussed in our class but what do I know … I can’t get past the fact that this movie sucks ass and I have to watch it at least 3 times in order to have proper notes and names down.  



I wonder if my paper is good enough, will that lower the crime rate in Arlington, Texas or will that just improve my grade by the meager 15% value noted on my class syllabus?  5-7 pages for a paper that will probably take me at least 2 pages to just break down the character names and plot (which will be 2 maybe 3 sentences) isn’t bad but why not assign a better assignment?  A ride along, some volunteer time with the cops or making me drive around town with my sound system blaring “BAD BOYS, WHAT’CHA WANT … WHAT’CHA GONNA DO?”  Now I’d be more than happy to do that but please don’t make me watch this movie ever again.  

I pray to 8lb 6oz baby Jesus with the majestic Chuck Norris beard, wearing a tuxedo t-shirt (cause he likes to party) would grant me this simple wish.  

Until then …I guess this Crown Royal and RC Cola will have to “inspire” another paper.  I just hope that this professor has a sense of humor like 2 of my last 4 English professors have or this grade is going to be lower than the rating of Celebrity Marco Polo.  Wish me luck.