Note to self…

As I sit here listening to my neighbors setting off illegal fireworks in the city limits and I watch the edited version of Hot Tub Time Machine (for like the 100th time)…I realized that I’ve had one messed up year so far.
I really have no idea what is gonna happen next but I hope that a job is in the really near future. I’m tired of being a substitute teacher and a tutor…I need an actual job and the feeling of purpose again.
I know that it has been a while since my last blog update but since my last entry I have finished another year as a substitute, lost my mother to complications of the horrible disease known as cancer and have gained back at least 40 pounds of the 150 pounds that I have already lost. Like I said…this year has been really messed up so far.
I really thought that things would be different by now. I wasn’t expecting a “rag to riches” story but at least a “get my head above water” story would have been nice.
What am I really afraid of now?
That list could go on for a while but I want to get things “finished up” now.
I’ve written a movie script that has been read by college professors but I don’t know where to go from here with it. Oddly enough, I’m afraid of getting sued or offending some of the people who I grew up with. Weird right? I post on Facebook about 3 times a day and most of my posts have the power to offend many people so why would I care about the script offending anyone? Maybe it’s because it involves my past or maybe it’s because I’m not really sure who I can still call a friend. Weird, I know. It’s been almost 20 years since my high school graduation and I can honestly say that I haven’t kept close with my friends…other than on Facebook. I know that it has been designed that way by my own choice because I’m not happy with my station in life but like I said earlier…I want to “finish things up” now.
As Frank Cross said at the end of Scrooged, “It’s not too late, is it?”
And before some of you begin to think; No I’m not drunk, No I’m not even drinking and No…I’m not dying (at least no more than we all are right now).
Tomorrow morning I will be going back to the gym to get back on the right track and hope that the rest of this year turns around and allows me to at least stick my nose above water.
Perfect timing…spoiler alert…it’s the Hero part of Hot Tub Time Machine…I can be your hero baby.
Let’s do this!

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